


Ignite My Shadows

by lyrium_bumble



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Backstory, Beauty - Freeform, Dragon Age: Inquisition Spoilers, Gah, Help, Multi, Original Character(s), Post-Dragon Age: Inquisition, Romance, Sad, Trauma, tags?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:06:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26707201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyrium_bumble/pseuds/lyrium_bumble
Summary: Growing up and having a parent die sucks. Growing up, knowing nothing about your parents sucks even more. Being shoved into a group, where everyone knows you don't belong, is a huge fuck you from the maker.
Relationships: Female Inquisitor/Iron Bull, Fenris/Female Hawke, Lavellan/Cullen Rutherford
Kudos: 6





	1. Prologue

The world is covered in a blanket of white. The first snowfall of the year, is said to be something special... to marvel upon. Almost like a gift wrapped tightly, ready to be dove into, on an early giving morning, surrounded by smiles and laughter.

  
Nestled deep in the woods however, the new snowfall was not met with warm faces and cheerful smiles. Instead, the laughter was replaced with the loud cries, as a woman sat alone in the forest, her back to a tree, too weak to even move. Wrapped tightly in her skirt, was a tiny baby, whose face was contorted into an angry scowl, as she let out furious screams.

  
Babies born on the first snowfall were rumoured of being special. A blessing from the maker, the gift of something beautiful, emerging from something so corrupt. With eyes that shimmered like snowflakes and hands that can hold even the most fragile of materials.

  
The mother couldn't help but feel bitter, lingering on such fables. How cruel must the maker be, to send a bastard child to her, now of all the times. "So close", she had told herself. So close she was to escaping Tevinter a free woman. Now... she was out but at what cost? To fight so hard for her sweet child's freedom, only to fail once she gets a taste.

  
As her breathing became shallow, she glanced down at the tiny bundle in her lap, her lips numb from the cold. Panic flooded her chest when she saw that the child... had stopped moving. All this secrecy... the work. She didn't combat this far, only to die on the field. Weakly, she reached her hand out, stroking the baby's cheek, as she fought to keep her eyes open. The child sputtered slightly, letting out a delicate sneeze.

  
The woman fought to stay awake, as she opened her mouth, only to discover not a sound coming out. Her throat... so dry. Then, a noise in the woods alerted her, as she turned, spotting a group making their way forward. The Dalish. They'd help her child. They HAD to. As if understanding the situation, the baby suddenly screamed once again, alerting the group.

  
They quickly made their way over, and the woman smiled softly, taking away the last of her energy. Baela... was safe. Slowly, she closed her eyes, welcoming the bright white light with open arms. 

*ten years later*

  
Sitting alone, her eyes closed, Baela reached out her hand, feeling the air wrap around him. Almost as if the wind... were talking to her. She inhaled slowly, enjoying the scents of pine and warmth. Spring was coming, she was sure of it.

  
Suddenly she was pulled out of thought, as something slapped into the back of her head, her soft blonde hair now containing a blob of brown in it. She felt tears well up in her eyes, as she glanced up at the perpetrators. Two boys stood by one of the tents, laughing softly. "You're so weird, what were you doing, sniffing around like that?" one spoke.  
"I bet she was born and left for a pack of wolves, but even they wouldn't take her", another chimed in, smiling brightly. Baela reached her hand up, wiping the tears from her eyes, as she tried not to think of the clump of mud clinging to her hair.

  
"Go on then, lick it off. That's what animals do, yeah?". Baela only blinked in response, the tears now rolling down her cheeks. Slowly her eyes narrowed. "May the dread wolf take you", she growled, walking towards the river not too far by camp. The boys froze, backing away from her, with wides eyes. "S-she's insane", one gasped. 

  
Baela settled by the stream, carefully wetting her hair, as she used her fingers to comb out the mud. She gagged feeling it slip through her fingers, as she shook her head. "Gross... gross... gross", she muttered repeatedly to herself, closing her eyes. 

  
"I hate it here", she whispered, as tears slowly slipped down falling into the stream. Suddenly, a shimmer caught her eye, where the tear had landed. She glanced down with wide eyes, completely mesmerized. The water seemed to change shape entirely, swirling and glittering in the sunlight, as soft blue light surrounded it.

  
Carefully, she slipped her fingers in, smiling. The water seemed to change around her hand, becoming somewhat solid and gripable. She slowly pulled out a fistful of water, watching as it floated in her palms, almost like she had picked up a piece of the stream.

  
Inside were a few tiny tadpoles and fish, wading around as if nothing changed. Baela smiled in response, wanting to touch them. "Hey fishy...", she whispered softly, staring intently into the swirling sea. Then... slowly the water slipped, collapsing, as the fish quickly returned to the stream, darting away.

  
She reached back in trying to replicate, but the shiny blue light was gone, along with the water's somewhat solid shape. Everything was just as it was before. Baela scooped her hands through it repeatedly, trying to catch it again. She longed to hear the pretty music once again.

  
However, her time was quickly cut short, when a voice called her name. Baela closed her eyes tightly, exhaling. The keeper. Surely by now she had heard about Baela cursing the other children. They started it. She reminded herself, holding her head high, as she slowly stood up, taking one last longing look at the stream. 

  
Upon reaching the Keeper's tent, Baela felt embarrassment creep along her neck, as she kept her head bowed down. "Is that mud?" the keeper asked, as Baela stared up at her with wide eyes. "Why don't you ask them?" she sniffled, glaring at the two boys.

  
One of them shook their head, scoffing. "Mud is nothing, compared to what you said". Baela bit her tongue, feeling her hands curl into fist. "I said only what was necessary. Maybe the dread wolf could teach you some manners". "Baela!" the keeper shouted, giving her a stern look. She looked away, ignoring the tears pricking her eyes, as she mumbled. "you certainly aren't going to".  
"She's a freak", one shouted, leaving the keeper's side. The keeper sighed, shaking her head. "Baela... you aren't making things better on yourself, constantly saying things-". "Me!?! They hate me, just for existing", Baela snapped.

  
"Have you tried being nice?". Baela rolled her eyes. "Right... because this clan is full or warm talks and rainbows" she snapped. The keeper suddenly looks very tired, whispering something in Dalish, as she shakes her head. "Baela... please... I don't want to hear any more complaints about you". Baela bowed her head down once again, admitting defeat, like usual. The Dalish weren't ever going to see her as one of them.

  
It'd be nice to say it got better after that, but as Baela grew into her teen years things were... different. Harder. And the kids only grew... worse. She began to realize just how different she was from the other Dalish.

  
They never ceased to remind her, "You're not one of us. She's a sad genlock, she looks like one too. Maybe an archdemon will swallow her whole". These words were repeated so often, them seemed to stop bothering her. Baela began to believe them herself. She was happy not to be considered part of the Dalish. "As if I'd willingly admit I'm part of clan Lavellan", she had once replied. Always, what seemed to scare the teens most however, was her telling them she'd hoped the dread wolf took them.

  
No matter how often she'd said it, the fearful shocked looks never changed. Baela... however gradually did. As time passed, she changed... did things... differently.   
The tiny elf that used to cry at nugs being killed, was now proclaimed quite the hunter... though they didn't know why. Baela bent down, carefully examining the nug, as she sighed softly. "Don't suppose they'd believe you died of natural causes would they?" she asked to no one in particular, carefully slipping her knife back in her pocket. She was horrible with a bow, but the others didn't seem to know that.

  
She curled her fists, shoving them in the fabric of her clothes. "This can't keep happening", Baela whispered to herself, examining the electrocuted nug. "What's going on with me?".   
Baela had recently discovered her more... natural abilities, and had been doing everything to hide it. Sometimes, however something would slip and a nug would get zapped or a tree burned. It was getting harder to contain, and being angry at the Dalish didn't help. 

  
Baela needed this to stay hidden. She couldn't give the Dalish the satisfaction of sending her to the circle to be someone else's problem. She was going to spite the Dalish as long as the maker allowed. 

  
Baela picked up the nug, her ring brushing against it's skin. She found herself staring once again, as she reread the name carved into the metal. The only thing she'd had from her mother. The Dalish had found it on a chain worn around Baela's neck. _Pavus_. The keeper hadn't known what the name meant, but Baela knew it was important. It HAD to be.

  
If she could just connect the how's, she could finally escape. She could finally... have a family. Baela picture an older man with blond hair and elf ears, staring down at her with all the love a father could give. He'd have her large hazel eyes. She often wondered if she were ever to see the man, would she recognize him. 

  
Tears filled her eyes, as she blinked them away. Maker... why'd my mother leave me? Where was my father when I was born? What was my mother running from? She held the nug tightly, looking forward. She was going to find her family, one day, then she wouldn't need the Dalish.


	2. Chapter 1

For months, I had been searching, merchant after merchant, slipping away into the more secluded cities, so not to get discovered. Each one knew nothing or tried to tell me it was a cheap sapphire jeweled band, they'd happily release the burden of carrying around with me. As if I were stupid. 

  
What I needed was chance to get into one of the bigger places, where they actually hear things... it was hard enough however, slipping into smaller places unnoticed. My huge knife ears would be a dead give away.

Suddenly, my tent opened, a woman peeking in. She had large blue eyes and soft white hair. I'd never spoken to her before, but she had been the only kid that did tell the other elves to shut up, when they were were picking on me. Ambriel was her name, I believe. She was the keeper's first, and kept to herself mostly.

  
"Baela?" she asked softly, as I moved away from my tiny desk, covering my maps of thedas with some of my older books. "Yes?". Now that I was fully looking at her, I could see... she was quite beautiful under the moonlight, her eyes shining like diamonds. She held her head high, but based on her slightly shifting movements, she was probably nervous... her eyes almost looking apologetic.   
"The keeper would like to see you... I hope I didn't disturb you". I waved my hand dismissively, sighing. "Don't worry about it, technically it was the keeper". Ambriel nodded, stepping out. The keeper... she never wants me for anything good.

  
Carefully, I stepped out, met with the warm summer night, a few fireflies darting around. The camp was quiet for the most part, feeling calm. I smiled, thankful for a break from the cold. Somedays it felt like that was all I could feel. Most of the Dalish were asleep, however the few that weren't were huddled around a campfire, giggling and touching each other. If one were to only see this dies, they'd think the group was the warm and welcoming.

  
Once they noticed me however, the smiles dropped and the group became still. Some whispering, others staring annoyedly making sure I knew, I could never be a part of... that.   
"Did you try Mira's fruit tart tonight? We finally managed to make the butter this season, and melting it on top of the crust just made it...", Ambriel trailed off, her eyes shining brightly. If this fruit tart were a person, they'd have Ambriel in bed in a matter of seconds, based on the reaction she had just given.

  
I smiled back nervously, as I shook my head. "I... I must have just missed it", I lied remembering what Mira had told me. "This is a DALISH delicacy, it wouldn't be enjoyed by the likes of a wolf child". I scoffed at the memory. As if I'd want anything prepared by that wench, she'd probably poison it. 

  
When I look over however, Ambriel wears a sympathetic expression. "You don't have to listen to them you know? They're just ignorant and scared. They don't realize you're not the outsider they paint you as".

  
I frown, blinking at her, as I hold back a sarcastic laugh. "Not an outsider?". What fantasy world was she living in. But, she only smiled sweetly at me. "Just because levellan blood doesn't flow through your veins, doesn't make you any less of a member then the rest of us. They see you as an outsider... and it scares them that they don't know where you come from". 

  
I look down slightly, chewing my bottom lip. Yeah... it's scary for them. I thought bitterly. Then I met her blue eyes again, noticing she was staring at me intently. "D-doesn't it scare you?". 

  
Ambriel's cheeks flushed slightly, as she smiled looking down, her voice quiet. "No... it doesn't. Why should it? That'd be like you, seeing me as just a mage and assuming I deserve to be shipped off to the circle, because I'm dangerous. We are far beyond what we are and where we come from Baela". I sighed softly, whispering to myself. "Well, it scares me".

  
"We can't control our backgrounds and who's blood flows through our veins, however we can choose how we see ourselves and others. Fear and jealousy make us desperate". I scoffed, sighing. "Jealous. You're insane lady". Ambriel rolled her eyes, as if it were the most obvious thing.

  
"You're new, people envy that. Not being born here, you stand out, whether want to or not. They want to stand out to, feel special". I stared intently at her, unsure what to think of the words leaving her mouth. "Are you speaking from a personal view point?".

  
She quickly gasps, covering her mouth, as her cheeks turn a bright pink... then she smiles. "No, I don't envy you. I admire you. You're a gift, given to the dalish. Different from us, in a refreshing way. Sometimes... I think we need a fresh perspective". 

  
Before I could reply, we were outside the keeper's tent. "I'll... see you around Baela", Ambriel whispered shyly, and as quickly as she had appeared, Ambriel was gone. I blinked confused, before going into the keeper's tent.

  
"Baela?" Keeper Lavellan turned to me, her eyes serious. I kept my face expressionless, as I stared back, unmoving. "Keeper", I greeted cooly. "I'm sure you know what this is about", she began. I narrowed my eyes. "I can't say I do keeper Lavellan, please, enlighten me". She turned her cold blue eyes on me, sighing.

  
"Baela, all these mysterious trip, your random disappearances, the complaints from the other dalish... I can't keep excusing you're rebellious behaviour. You're scaring everyone". I scoffed, shaking my head. "I'm scaring everyone? Nobody ever said anything, when the other Dalish were scaring me as a kid. Did you even think to consider my feelings in this?". The keeper shook her head, sighing.

  
"This is exactly what I'm talking about... Baela, it is time to grow up. Stop searching for this nonsense, what are you expecting to find? All you do is push push push. You're like a walking storm, never thinking about how you're affecting anyone else around you?".

  
"How is me slipping away to see merchants harming anyone?" I replied, crossing my arms, as I glared at her, feeling my hands tighten. "Your duty is with the clan, when you're disloyal to the clan, it harms everyone. You're putting us in danger. We don't mix with outsiders, EVER". 

  
"YOU, don't mix with outsiders. You, and everyone else, has made it pretty clear, I'm not a part of this clan", I retorted. "Because you don't want to be Baela! Since day one, I have tried, to get you to see... to give the others a chance, and all you do is turn your head and lift your nose, clinging to that scuffed up ring, treating it with better care than you do everyone here". I felt my chest tightly, as my hands grew hot, something swirling inside me, like an untamed storm.

  
"This scuffed up ring, has been the nicest thing I've stumbled upon while in this clan, and all it does is remind me that my father abandoned my mother in the cold! My very existence has been nothing but a burden for you and your precious clan!" I screamed, my hands falling to my side, as I formed fists.

  
Keeper Lavellan gave me a stern look. "You watch that tone in here, I'm your keeper, and it'd do you good to-", she was cut off, as I let out a scream, feeling something inside me shake, as a burst of pink lightning shot out of my hand, ripping a hole in the back of her tent. I let out a gasp, the rage slowly burning away, as I raised my hand to my mouth.

  
I had done it... the very thing I had carefully spent years crafting to stay hidden, buried deep inside of me. I shoved my hands in my pocket, unable to meet the keeper's eye, as she stared at me in horror. "B-baela... what was that?". It was like no magic she had ever seen. That... anyone had seen. In all my time... I still hadn't found anyone that could do some of the things I had managed to these past few months. 

  
"You need to leave, it's not safe for us, as long as you're here. Don't be here when I wake up tomorrow", the keeper finally said sternly, walking past me, as I stood, fear moving through my whole body. Carefully, I tucked a strand of blonde hair behind my ear, breathing slowly. I... I'd have nowhere to go. For years I had dreamed of a place without the Dalish but this... it was too surreal.  
I carefully stepped in my tent, tears slowly slipping down my face. Alone. The thought petrified me. I froze, spotting a woman, sitting on my bed.

"Hey", Ambriel's voice whispered softly. I blinked, slowly walking over to my bag, as I tossed my maps and books into it. "Hello", I whispered in response, setting my bag down beside her, and quickly doing the same.

  
"I brought you a piece of fruit tart", she beamed, holding out the tiny treat to me. I smiled softly, carefully taking the pastry to her. "Why were you packing? Are you going on another late expedition? You should let me go, I'm good with talking" Ambriel rambled.

  
I chewed my lip softly, shaking my head, as I sighed softly. "Actually... no... I'm... leaving, for good. Keeper Lavellan finally realized I'm not worth the hassle". Ambriel shoved me playfully, giving me a stern look. "That's not funny". I slowly stood up, wrapping the pastry in some cloth. "I'm not joking", I replied, carefully placing the cloth in my bag, 

  
Ambriel shot up, an alarming look in her eyes. "What happened? Perhaps I could... smooth things over, convince her-" I cut her off, flashing her a sad smile. "It's really no big deal Ambriel... we both know I don't belong here anyway. I would've left eventually".

  
She shook her head, thinking. "You're... going to be all alone out there". I shrugged. "That's... really nothing new. This is good... now I can focus on... this", I whispered softly, running my finger over the Pavus ring, as I strung it onto a leather strip, tying it around my neck. I was never one for rings.

  
"I could go with you". I laughed softly, shaking my head. "You barely even know me". "Traveling with you would give me that opportunity". I sighed, carefully looking around the tent. "You're the keeper's first, you have responsibilities. You can't be so willing to throw that all away, it's... a little off putting". Ambriel suddenly looks sad, as she's staring at nothing. "I... I remember seeing you as a young girl... alone, and it was the saddest thing to me. All the Dalish, crowded around happy, and you were just sitting there, watching them... wistfully. It's all I can see, when I picture you out there, alone... and no one deserves that feeling".

  
I pause, carefully putting my bag on my shoulder, as I shake my head. "That's... kind of you, but this... is my journey. And I think... I am meant to go through it alone. I... don't think I'll forget you Ambriel... who knows. Perhaps... if things were different, in another life, you and I would've probably been friends".

  
She smiled softly at me, her eyes wide and hopeful. "I wouldn't quite give up on this life... just yet", then she stepped forward, wrapping me into a tight hug. I smiled, as I rested my forehead in the crook of her neck. What made me freeze however, was when he carefully pressed a soft kiss on my cheek.

  
"For luck", she whispered, before slipping out of my tent, as I rubbed my cheek softly, blinking in bewilderment. Maybe... even more than friends. I thought longingly, carefully pulling my bag over my shoulder. Another moment in my life... that ended as quickly as it had started. 


	3. Chapter 2

Slowly, leaves trickled, slipping from their branches, as the wind blew softly, scattered them around the forest floor. This had been the only noise accompanying me on my travels, as I walked forward, unsure where to go from here.

The answers had seemed so clear before, dangling in front of my face, taunting. However, when I reached out to grasp for them, the ground underneath me collapsed and I fell through, shrouded in darkness. How does one navigate through the darkness slipping around them, without the light for guidance.

Wandering aimlessly felt foolish, but what other choices did I have? I sighed, climbing a small trees, as I heard wolves howl in the background. Sleeping on the ground would be unwise tonight.

Carefully, I settled on the tree branch, resting my head against the trees, slowly looking around at the forest around me.

The trees seemed to stretch on forever, as I glanced at the mass ocean of green stretching on. I have little fond memories of the years when I was younger, however staring into the trees, I thought of simpler times. When the leaves used to fall, and I'd chase them, grasping at each individual leaf, until I had a fistful.

I could never place what, but something felt magical after releasing my fists and watching the leaves blow away into the unknown. I had always wondered where they went.

I shook the thoughts away, sighing. It seemed senseless to ponder such trivial thoughts and yet, as I drifted off into sleep, I was filled with dreams of dancing around fires with men made of leaves and the flute's song flooding the silence. There was something peaceful there... almost whole.

The wind blue slightly, as one of the men held out a hand, it's fingers individual tree branches. Lingering in his hand was a small flower crown. I smiled, as he placed it on my head, then grabbed my hand.

Everything felt so... real. So light. The dream was nothing more than a longing fantasy, a place unreal meant only to reside, not to live in. The thought brought tears to my eyes, when I awoke only to find the white dress and soft flower crown gone, replaced with simple leather armor and worn down boots.

The sun was slowly rising, as I wiped the sleep from my eyes. My dreams were usually empty, wandering a blank void, searching, but unsure for what. My hand instinctively clasped around the small ring hanging from my neck.

I smiled softly, wondering perhaps what my mother would look like. Soft blue eyes, so light and fragile. Hair so long it seemed to cover her shoulders, like soft yellow silk. A smile... so wide just looking at it could seal the cracks in your chest. This woman... who looked so much like me, only more happy with life, could be my mother.

I closed my eyes, sighing softly. "How could this happen? What could you gain from taking everything away? What is your plan maker?!?" I spat bitterly, wondering if perhaps I was going insane.  
Alone I was, talking to no one, like a wolf howling at the moon. I was growing desperate. A weary traveler, with no specific path to follow. No home, nowhere to go. even among the Dalish, I had never so alone.

I shook my head, wiping away the tears welling up in my eyes. "Now is not the time to sit around feeling sorry for yourself. Baela... you're FREE", I scolded myself, standing up.  
Where haven't I been? I glanced at my map, sighing. Orlais, someone there had to know the ring, what it meant. I looked down at my clothes, as I scrunched up my nose. I couldn't walts in looking like this, I really needed a bath. I searched through my bags, sighing in defeat. "Guess we will be doing this the hard way..."

I pulled the simple cloth up, covering my mouth, as my eyes stayed trained on the fancy carriage. I had been tracking it for hours, waiting for it to stop, however I was slowly growing tired. "I wish I had payed more attention in bow training" I thought, imagining an arrow flying through the carriage driver's chest.

Slowly an idea came to mind, as I stared at a tree up the road smirking. The rain slowly picked up, the woods growing darker. "Perfect" I smirked, focusing on a tree. I felt my hands grow warm, as sparks slowly forged. I felt my eyes water, as pink light emitted around me. Carefully I raised my hand, sending a bolt of lightning slicing through the tree.

I smiled in relief, my vision returning to normal, as the tree broke into pieces, covering the path. "What is it now Jasper!" a voice shouted as the carriage came to a halt.

The driver only stared in confusion, as he turned in the driver's seat. "I... lightning knocked down a tree.. but...", he slowly trailed off. Suddenly the door swung open, and a figure stepped out.  
They walked towards the front of the carriage, glancing at the splintered mess. "L-lightning? What?". The driver was unresponsive, and it was only after the figured nudged him, I realized he was dead. I blinked my heart hammering in my chest. H-had I done that? I panicked, closing my eyes, as I felt my stomach turn.

However, I grew calm, when I saw the arrow silhouette sticking out the driver's neck. I exhaled slowly, only for the sense of dread to return, as I broke into a cold sweat. Who had shot the arrow?

  
The figure stepped back, their movements staggered, as they quickly covered their mouth. What caught my eye however, was a person slinking forward in the shadows, a bow strapped across their back. They were sneaking up on the figure I noticed, as they pulled a dagger out of its sheath. "NO!" I gasped, not realizing the words had left my lips, as I reached my hand out in desperation.

The movement caused me to lose balance, as I fell off the tree branch, the world spinning around me. It's only when I land, that I feel the heat in my hands, realizing what I had just done.

It's then I spot the limp shadowed body a few feet away. Suddenly, the bottom of a frilled out dress filled my vision, and I'm taken by surprise.

The figure... that had stepped out of the carriage was a masked woman. It was hard to make out any distinct details, due to the heavy rain causing my hair to cover one of my hair.  
Despite being covered, her piercing emerald eyes stuck out, her face expression unreadable. Her dress barely raised above the forest floor and sparkled like golden starlight, seeming untouched by the rain. Her hands were clasped together, across her waist, as she straightened her posture.

Her movements were smooth... almost as if she had calculated what she was going to do before doing so. She slowly turned, her eyes landing on the corpse. I followed her gaze, really looking at it for the first time, as lightnight light up the forest floor.

It was a lanky man, his mouth wide open and his eyes were practically popping out of his face, which was covered in grotesque veins, begging to pop out of the skin it seemed.

The woman then turned back to me, her eyes holding no sense of emotion, which only terrified me more. Then, she spoke, my blood freezing. Her voice was cool yet powerful like smooth ice, chilling your veins.

"How tragic... what are the odds of a man being struck by lightning and instantly dying, moments after a tree had fallen. Some would say that's an act of god". Her eyes then pierce into my own, causing my heart to race. What surprises me most however, is when she walks over to me and reaches her hand out.

"Who are you? What are you doing alone elf?" her voice is now void of the ice before, taking on a more light tone. However, my voice is caught in my throat, as she helps me stand. "Oh dear... that isn't good", she mutters to herself, her hand brushing my hair to the side.

"Come dear, I detest standing in the rain, and that wound needs tending. Callen, please fix the tree incident and take Jasper's place, he's no longer able to work". Another figure steps out the carriage, nodding his head. "Of course, mydame", the blond replied quickly running to the front, as he calmed the horses.

The woman then helped me into the carriage, following in after. "You've gotten rain in here Ember!" a voice shouts, and I look over seeing a man with similar green eyes to the woman and long red hair, a slight shadow covering his jaw.

Ember shot the man a glare, carefully slipping her Orlesian mask off. "Watch your tongue Lucien, or I'll put you out there myself", she snapped in response, then turned to me.

In the dim light of the carriage, without her mask, I can see her truly, and I'm mesmerized. Despite it being night, it was easy to see she was quite beautiful. Her skin was like porcelain, it looked smooth and white... tinted blue due to the shadows. She had high and defined cheekbones, large round lips, looking apple red, and her hair was tied up in a tight braided bun, her eyes scanning my own intensely.

"Now that you know you're safe, speak dear, what were you doing up in that tree? Why'd you call out like that?". I chewed my bottom lip, looking down slightly, a sense of unease creeping in my stomach. While being inside a carriage was preferable to the raging storm outside, it still felt like a foolish decision. I didn't know these people. Why had I so willingly followed this woman?

I cleared my throat, as I pulled the simple mask down, closing my eyes. My intent had been to rob from these people... but now it felt... impossible. I had told myself, they're Orlesian, what I took would mean nothing, but they to were people... just like me.

"I... was trying to sleep, when the storm woke me. I... your carriage frightened me", I finally replied, receiving a skeptical glare from Lucien.

"Tell me you don't buy this sister", he began. "She was covering her face, she didn't want us to remember her identity". Ember glared at him once more, waving her hand dismissively. "She's revealed herself now, hasn't she Lucien? Another word from you, and you're riding beside Callen and the horses. This elf saved my life, had she not have alerted me, I would be dead", she then rested her hand on my leg. "Tell me dear, are you okay?"

I nodded slowly, my voice caught in my throat, mesmerized. This woman barely knew me, and instantly... I had been shown more compassion than the dalish had ever given me... their own kind.  
Lucien sighs, shaking his head. "As you wish Ember". Ember smiled, satisfied, as she returned her attention to me. "What are you looking for?". I froze, staring at her. "P-pardon?". Ember straightened up, smoothing out her dress.

"Well dear, you certainly aren't from an alienage, and you weren't with a Dalish clan. Your clothes look worn, you were sleeping in a tree, which indicate you don't have a consistent living space. Unless if you just enjoy napping in trees, because you're home is uncomfortable. My... you look exhausted", she explained.

I felt my cheeks grow warm, as I looked away shyly. "I...-", suddenly I was cut off, as she reached towards me, examining the ring around my neck. I panicked, shoving her hand away.

She looked shocked, tilting her head. I'm sure she's going to toss me out. "That ring... it looks expensive", is all she says though. "I... do you know anything about it?" I ask, getting caught up in a small glimmer of hope, as I try my best not to sound too eager. Ember stared at me thoughtfully, a small smile on her face. "May I look at it again?"

I sighed, carefully untying the necklace, as I handed it to her with shaking hands. "Please be careful, it... it's important". Ember turned the ring in her hands, running her fingers along the steel. "I... Lucien! This is a Pavus ring!" she shouted, turning to me.

Lucien said nothing, sighing, as he looked out the carriage window. "Dear, do you belong to the Pavus's? Were you running?". My heart sank, as the words processed through my mind. Belong... did that ring belong to slavers? I shook my head softly. "The keeper said she found me with it. Do... do you know them?".

Ember smiled, handing the ring back. "Know them? We have close contacts", she beamed, as Lucien scoffed, rolling his eyes. Ember glared in response, almost of if the two were having some unspoken conversation, before she quickly returned her attention to me.

"Well dear, you're free to stay with us, perhaps you'll find the answers you seek... we can't have you sleeping in a tree dear". It's after she says those words, I could have sworn perhaps... a small smile graced his lips, gone as quickly as it appeared. Ember's eyes wandered to the ring necklace once more. "Pretty... what did you say your name was?", she asked.

I straightened up, brushing a strand of blonde hair behind my ear. "Baela... my name... is Baela".


	4. Chapter 3

The carriage ride had passed by rather quickly, due to me sleeping most of the way. I hadn't even remembered falling asleep, until my eyes shot open, after being nudged by the fiery headed noble. 

  
Despite the shaky carriage, I had slept comfortably, for the first time in... it couldn't quite remember. My nights had slowly turned into waking up repeatedly, due to almost falling out of a tree or having a branch slap me. I glanced down, worried that my wet hair had soaked the delicate fabric of my seat, but Ember quickly took my attention, helping me out the carriage. 

  
I was at a loss for words, when I took in my surroundings. The buildings were tall and captivating, almost intimidating, mixed with the shining gold and blue banners. Orlais was so... impressive yet intimidating. You read about the architecture and luxury that is Orlais, but none of the descriptions could quite compare to the sights I was seeing. 

  
It was... evidently quite the change from always seeing tree tops instead of gorgeous blue skies. I had to stop myself from glancing at the sun, because it just seemed more... rich here in Orlais. Feeling the warmth beam down, coating my skin, I almost wanted to just stand still forever.

  
I also felt... highly out of place, seeing all the masks and gowns worn by most nobles, compared to my now frizzy hair and tight armor. Ember however, had brushed off any worries my mind had created, when she carefully escorted me to her home, her hand delicately ghosting around my waist.

  
If I had thought many of the buildings before were impressive... Ember's home was paralyzing. I had never seen a building with so many windows, paired with vine covered balconies, overlooking the front garden, which was decorated in various purple flowers, or aconites, Ember had told me. In the middle of the garden, there was a large Coyote statue decorating the stone path, that lead to the front door.

  
Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder, as I glanced up, spotting Ember's green eyes. I was so distracted, I hadn't noticed we had reached the door just yet. "Come on dear, let's get you into a warm bath and out of those wet clothes. You must be freezing."

  
As she walked towards the door, I slowly followed my mind still wrapped up on the ghost of her hand resting on my shoulder. Her touch had been warm... comforting in a way, like a soft blanket wrapped around your arms, when the snow is carefully slipping down outside. It had felt... like Amberlith's warmth.

  
After stepping inside, I found it hard to move, my heart hammering in my chest. Everything about this place felt... intimidating. The doorframes were curved, and arched all the way to the ceiling, bordered by gold trimmed pillars, and a chandelier resided in every room.

  
I half expected a door to open, and a gust of leaves to fly out, reminding me that all this is a dream. The walls were overwhelming, compared to the small tents the Dalish had set up in the woods. The walls of the home were also... empty, there were no paintings or small gold carvings the decorate the plain white. Just a golden border, running along the top of the walls. 

  
I froze, when my eyes landed on two elvish woman, carrying a stack of towels towards our direction. Ember seemed to tense, stepping somewhat in front of me, as she smiled sweetly towards the pair.

  
"Are those going to Lucien's room?", Ember had asked, turning towards the raven haired elf, who nodded in return, seeming to purposefully avoid my gaze. "Yes my lady, he had received slightly damp ones this morning, so we were replacing them". Ember carefully peeled off her gloves, her eyes locking on them.

  
"Damp? Why were the towels damp?". The raven one looked down, shaking her head softly. "We had hung them out to dry like always, my lady, but... with the storm coming out the air had grown humid. It was either leave them to be soaked or bring them in". 

  
Ember handed her gloves to the other elf, clasping her hands together. "I see... and you felt that, instead of giving him the dry towels, which you clearly now have, that it was acceptable to give Lucien damp ones?". The elf shook her head in response. "It wasn't I, it was Silvia. She's still new and learning". The other elf quickly raced off, clutching the gloves tightly.

  
Ember carefully peeled her mask off, resting her hand on the raven's shoulder. "Oh... that poor dear, how is she? Lucien wasn't too cross was he?". The raven shrugged softly. "I... am unsure miss. We were trying to replace the towels before he got back".

  
Ember sat her mask on the roll of towels. "Don't worry about it, I'll make sure he's alright, just slip him a few extra tarts for dinner", Ember replied. The elf smiled softly, still looking worried. "Of course my lady", she replied, scurrying off after the other elf. 

  
Ember turned towards me, and I was now completely captivated it. It was the first time I had seen her whole face, in the light. It seemed... unreal how perfect her face was. Diamond shaped, with carved rosy cheeks, and large upturned eyes. Her lips fit her face perfectly, not too thin or thick, as they curved into a wide smile. I found myself at a loss for words.

  
"Well then, let's show you the bathing room, and you can sleep in the guest suite. It used to be mine, but with my parent's stepping down as house representatives, and staying in our second home, I have moved up, taking their responsibility" she replied, however her words weren't all too cheerful.

  
"You mentioned... asked if Silvia was okay... who is she?" I asked softly, wondering if she would show the same care to the other elves. Ember seemed to pause, staying somewhat quiet. "She was a servant I had met at the winter palace, she had told me some things about her owner, and for the right price I was able to rescue her. She's... a little shaken up still so she talks nonsense sometimes... I often wonder if she even knows she's in a new home. She wouldn't survive out there alone, so... I let her stay here".

  
I froze, tilting my head. Does this mean I'm just another elf she's found. Did she think I wouldn't survive out there? Suddenly she turned to me. "Your tattoos... what is it the Dalish call them, val... I don't quite remember. But yours... I don't think I've seen any elf with quite the patterns, lace and flowers don't seem traditionally Dalish". I felt my stomach tighten, as I smiled softly at the memory. 

  
_It was when things had started changing, I was no longer the little kid that was easily pushed around. I was but a young rebel, and it was around the time most Dalish get their vallaslin, only... I hadn't wanted mine. I had been wandering the flower fields again, something I did often, when I felt the need to escape._

  
_I couldn't explain what had happened, even if I wanted to, because I couldn't quite understand it. It was almost as if, while lying in those flowers we had become one. Almost like the water incident. I was capable of carrying things that shouldn't be possible. My magic... was terrifying and I was unsure what else I had been capable of. But it was almost... like the flowers had been reaching out to me._  
_So I had carefully turned my head, and it was almost like I had been kissed by the flowers. They seemed to stretched, leaving the field, and slowly seeming to collide with my face, in a tickling feeling. I hadn't the slightest idea why it had happened or what? It had almost felt... like the forest was a part of me._

  
_I wondered if perhaps it was because of my mom. Perhaps she had spells she too had been incapable of understanding. How stupid it is, to seem to have a magic with so many endless possibilities, but it was unable to help me understand where I am from. Why I am like this._

  
I found myself unsure quite how to explain this, as I shook my head. "They aren't... I love the forest... and nature. And I wasn't quite.. fond of the Dalish. So I did my own thing". I fumbled, smiling softly. Ember only glanced at me, her voice quiet, as she nodded. "I see... sometimes it is hard, feeling disconnected from the people that are supposed to be the most accepting of you".

  
I chewed my bottom lip, shaking my head. More than you could know. I carefully ran my fingers along my ring, as Ember glanced at me. "Don't worry, I haven't forgotten. There's a party coming up at the winter palace soon, I'll be sure to talk with my contacts, when we go".

  
I froze, looking up. "We?!?" I gasped. Ember turned towards me, smiling lightly. "Yes, we. I can't just leave you here. You can easily slip away unnoticed, unlike me to. Perhaps you can find more information. You just... would have to pose as my servant". _Servant_... the idea unsettled me. Ember seemed to notice my expression, giving me a sad smile. 

  
"I... know it's not ideal. Or even right. But... I don't have many other options. I just... am trying to help you". I nodded softly, shaking my head. "No... I know, and I'm grateful... for everything". She smiled, grabbing my hand. "Ok, your room is the last door to the left, then you can take a bath, and I'll bring you some food. I have to check on Lucien, but I will see you late".

  
After those words, she quickly slipped away, heading down the hall, as I stood in place, glancing at the many doors and empty walls. The halls were whisper quiet... almost as if they were harboring secrets, not meant to be unturned. 


	5. Chapter 4

_It's peaceful... the world. With eyes closed, shrouded in darkness, yet... I'm seeing so much. Slowly, the forests began to fade out my mind, as I become in tune with the water surrounding me._

  
_It was almost like... I could drown everything out here. I could forget about the small things, like being an orphan and being unaccepted. And... leaving the pretty white haired dalish elf. Amberlith. Here... it almost felt like I could just rinse the past away and have it run into the water._

  
_Carefully, shadows fill my eyes, tugging and pulling, almost as if they were grabbing me by my arms and legs. I felt panic rise in my chest, as I hastily sat up, sputtering and coughing up the water that seemed to slip into my lungs._

  
_"Don't give up"_ a voice had whispered, echoing inside my head. I sighed, wiping the water from my eyes. You can't stay under the water forever. Despite... longing for things to be different, I know no amount of bathing could wash away the dark past shackling me to this mental torment, suffocating me in insecurity, as it festers in my throat. Choking. 

  
The world... was different. I had to move forward. The Dalish had possibly long forgotten me, so why should I show them any different. 

  
I stood up, watching the water slowly let go, almost surprised by how weighted I actually was outside the water. How long had I been in there? Long enough for the calm to be overtaken into something darker. My fingers had grown wrinkled. 

  
Carefully, I wrapped a towel around myself, my wet feet carefully hitting the tile, as I made my way to where the clothes I had been given were hanging. I slipped the towel off, running it through my long hair, the water slipping on the ground around me. I was curious as to how I hadn't managed to slip and bust my ass on the tile in here. My... how embarrassing that would be. 

  
I froze, when my eyes met with my reflection in the mirror. I... almost didn't recognize myself. My hair looked lighter... my face smoother... my eyes brighter. I carefully slid my fingers along my cheek, unsure on if I was truly here. It was becoming harder and harder to accept this life... as a reality. Gazing into the mirror I could clearly see that it was indeed my golden eyes, blonde hair, and tan skin, but... I felt like someone else entirely. 

  
I reached over, pulling on the simple white lace tunic and pants, shivering at the sensation of the cloth on my skin. It was... soft and smooth, unlike the rough armor I had struggled getting my head through most nights. 

  
I smoothed out the top, my heart racing. Part of me had felt unfit to wear something so exquisite. Even if it looked simple in comparison to Ember's fancy clothes and dresses.   
Carefully, I opened the door, ready to head to the guest room, when my eyes met with the unfamiliar man that had accompanied me in the carriage ride. He was poised, almost like stone and hadn't seemed to noticed me yet. Like his sister, he had a handsomely sculpted face. His cheekbones were similar to that of Ember's, however his chin was more pointed and his jaw more sharp. He had a smaller nose than Ember's too, I noticed, and a scar running through his left brow.

  
He had changed from the elegant clothes, now in a simple black tunic with a rough looking leather belt loosely wrapped around his waist and simple baggy brown pants accompanying it. He appears to be staring out the window, lost in thought, and I notice his knuckles turning white, from gripping the sill. I almost wonder what he's thinking.

  
"Can I help you?" his voice suddenly booms out of no where, sending shivers through my skin, as I jump back slightly. His voice certainly didn't hide behind his softer features. I bit my lip slightly, shaking my head, as I stare at the ground, feeling like a scolded child. "Uh... no I... was just heading to the guest room". Lucien's eyes seem to narrow, his brows furrowing, as he seems frustrated, lost in thought. "Oh...? Ember already set you up then?" he asks, his voice much softer than before.

  
I nod slowly in response, my hand instantly going to fiddle with the silver ring around my neck. "I... I'm sorry I don't mean to be a burden... is my presence a problem?" I asked softly. Lucien said nothing a first, sighing, a sad look crossing his eyes. "Please excuse me" he replied, quickly turning around, as he walked away. 

  
I carefully ran my fingers through my hair, as I let out a breathy sigh, making my way towards the guest wing. 

  
I opened the door, shocked to find an elf placing books on the dresser in the corner of the room. Upon hearing the door, she lets out a frightened gasp, dropping the books onto the ground. She hastily goes to pick them up. "Mydame the room is almost ready, I was jus-", she stops, when she looks up however spotting me.

  
"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to startle you" I apologized, going to help pick up the books. The elf glanced up, her eyes wide. "I... I'm sorry dear I didn't hear you enter. Ember just asked me to make sure the room was in perfect condition is all", she said, as I handed her the books. I stared confused, as she placed them on the dresser, not with the other books on the shelf in the corner of the room. The bookshelf was nowhere near full. 

  
"I didn't know you were in here, Ember didn't mention she'd be sending you" 

  
The elf shook her head. "She... must have forgotten. There's been... a lot going on here miss" I glanced over reading the cover of one of the books. "The Tevinter Imperium?" 

  
"It's where the Pavus's are, he figured it'd be nice to know a little about your homeland" the elf replied. 

  
"He?" I asked, tilting my head. Had Ember not been the one to send the books? The tiny raven haired elf seemed to panic. "I... I don't know why I said that. Ember was trying to be helpful. She's done much for the elves here. She helps us. Without her... many of us would have nothing. Would... be nothing" 

  
I nodded softly, unsure what to say. "I... well tell her I said thank you... dear what's your name?" The elf seemed to stiffen at the question blinking. She looked somewhat blank, unsure what to say.

  
"Oh... my name... I... it's been so long... _Cora_... it's Cora, but you don't have to know that. I'm just a humble servant, another elf in these walls". Before I can say anything in response, she quickly slips out, and I worry that I might have offended her. 

  
"Why do you keep doing this?" I froze, turning away from the stack of Tevinter books, recognizing Lucien's voice. "Are you really lecturing me about this again Lucien?" Ember. I felt guilt slowly eat away at my stomach, my heart pounding. Listening was a complete violation of privacy... but then again... I couldn't control their volume. 

  
"Ember please-" 

  
"No Lucien, don't try to lecture me"

"How many times are you going to do this? When does it end?"

  
"When I say Lucien! This is the way I do things, if you don't like it leave"

  
"Ember, it's not right, and YOU know it".

  
Ember didn't reply, instead I heard a door slam, and raced off to grab a Tevinter book, jumping onto the bed, as I opened it a few pages in, a soft knock erupting on the door.

  
I tried to calm my shaky hands, as I looked up. "Yes?" I asked in response, feeling my heart slam into my chest, my palms sweaty. Slowly, the door cracked open, and Ember poked her head in.

  
Unlike the last time I had seen her, her hair was down, flowing past her shoulders, a few stray strands framing her face. Her eyes scanned the room, casually, until they landed on me.

  
"Hey, I brought you some food, if you're hungry. Me and Lucien had already eaten, otherwise I'd have invited you to the dining hall" 

  
I closed the book, sitting up. The thought of eating anything turning my stomach, despite the smell that filled the room, almost seeming to tempt me. It smelt nothing like the random animals we had cooked in the clan.

  
"Oh hi... I... thank you", I stumbled, the words caught on my tongue. Part of me had felt guilty for hearing her conversation with her brother.

  
Ember carefully walked in, setting a silver tray down on the bed. "I'm sorry if you heard mine and Lucien's spat, he's an angry jealous fool sometimes". I shrugged softly, as I lifted the lid on the tray.

  
"Spat?" I asked casually, trying to keep my voice from rising, hoping the curiosity sounded genuine. She didn't know if I had heard her and Lucien. I carefully picked up the tiny fork, poking at the slab of meat, which was slightly pink and covered in a thin brown watery like sauce. It smelt somewhat salty... yet savory.

  
Ember smiled nervously, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Baela dear... you don't have to play dumb on my behalf, I'm just embarrassed by Lucien's behavior... I'm more interested in just how much you heard?"

  
I felt my cheeks turn red, my appetite now completely gone. "I... didn't hear much honestly. Just fragments at the end, about how you were doing things", I admitted, feeling like a scolded child.

  
Ember rested her hand on my knee. "There's no need to be nervous Baela, Lucien's just not adjusting too easily to the elves being here is all. He's... a tad old fashioned", she smirked."But I wouldn't worry about it, you'll be fine, so long as I'm in control"

  
I smiled nervously, shrugging. "It's his home though... if he's feeling-", Ember cuts me off, shaking her head. "Nonsense, he should understand you're more than your knife ears"

  
I smiled nervously, looking down. "I... appreciate the hospitality Ember"

  
"Of course, you're our honored guest"

  
Then, without saying anything else, she stood up, waving goodbye, as she made her way out the door. 

While watching her depart, my eyes wander, and I freeze, spotting a slip of paper on the floor, next to the dresser. Had it fallen out of the Tevinter book?

  
I slowly stood up, grabbing the paper from off the ground, unfolding it. I gasped, realizing it was a note, and I didn't recognize the handwriting. 

  
_So many doors, what is behind them? So many masks, but who isn't wearing one?_

  
I blink in confusion, repeatedly flipping the paper, only to find no signature. _Ember... what are you trying to tell me?_


End file.
